Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Student Quotes

Since it’s the end of the semester, I’m going to type up a few of the quotes I jotted down in my book during classes. There are a lot where I can’t remember the context, so they don’t make sense to me anymore, but at least these two sketch days do. I also sometimes didn't write anything down or I couldn't write quickly or clearly enough. Hopefully you’ll get an idea of the way my students talk, and some of the unintended humor I get from class discussion and skits.

The first is from the very beginning. I gave them a Calvin & Hobbes comic- if you scroll back enough in the blog, you can see the comic.
  • Oh my god, it’s too terrible!
  • Tiger, you eat a lot of food, but I’m a good boy.
  • What is it in me?!
  • I promise it is the best food in the world.
  • Are you sure it can be eaten?
  • Oh My Lady Gaga! (They used this phrase a lot at the beginning.)
  • Have it gone bad? 3 days ago!
The second set of quotes are from Halloween week and were some of the funniest skits in the semester. I gave them a phrase and a Halloween-themed picture, and they had to make a short skit using both. The pictures were: skull, ghost, candy, pumpkin, vampire, witch, mummy, werewolf, bat, zombie, haunted house.
  • Hey man, I’m the greatest ghost.
  • Oh come on, as a witch I have magic powers.
  • It’s a toy bat, and I fix it up.
  • No I’m fantastic- and the most beautiful candy in world.
  • Humans are so selfish and I want to eat you!
  • Why are you just having a head?
  • This plan is a “playing down” me! (play down was one of the phrases)
  • Hi everybody, give me all your toys or I’ll turn you into PIIIIG. (She kind of yelled the end of it.)
  • I was injected by horrible disease!
  • I’m Mr. Pumpkin. I hate this color. (talking about himself being orange.)
  • Even for cat, this pumpkin is not big enough! Oh goddamnit.
  • I haven’t taken a bath for one year. (I do not remember the context for this one at all.)
  • We are skulls now, but want to love. (It was a skull… love story. Very strange.)
  • You are the fattest skeleton I’ve ever seen. (How???)
  • I’m so bored with you. Get as far away as you can!
  • I’m a ghost, don’t you know?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Banquets

We've had our fair share of banquets here. They follow the same basic set-up: the dean of whichever college (they use the word college to mean 'department') is hosting will be there, maybe a party member or "spiritual leader", various teachers of the department, and us. Because we're foreign teachers, we're special. So we're not ignored. The other teachers often are, and left to their own discussions. Everyone is expected to drink and participate in the numerous toasts to the college, our teaching, our futures, thanks, etc. The dean or highest honored guest will make the regular three toasts, and then it moves down by rank. The next highest person can either make a toast to everyone, or begin walking around the table (usually literally a round table) and drinking with each person in turn. Normally this includes finishing the drink you have already, and they fill it with bai jiu. Though by this point, I've learned to ask if they have hong jiu, red wine, instead. This has worked out SO much better for me, because red wine is actually drinkable and somewhat ENJOYABLE. Sometimes they make you finish the full glass (especially if it's a man), and then you both clink glasses, seeing who can clink with their glass lower. I forget what it means to have the lower glass, but it's what you want. Sometimes I try, sometimes I don't care. Then you usually say "ganbei" which is the same as "Bottom's Up" and you should finish your glass. (Gan bei means dry cup, if it's the "gan" I think it is.) They'll fill your glass once more, and you can sit down and they move to the next person.

So this process can be repeated AT LEAST 6 times, so it's a lot of alcohol drank among everyone at these banquets. And sometimes KTV/karaoke will follow. But that's only happened to me twice. We never have to pay for anything, and we're not expected to.

These banquets don't happen randomly. The first round was at the beginning, welcoming us to Henan University. I suppose there could have been some around National Days, but we were traveling. And we had our most recent around Christmas for both the Winter Solstice and the end of the semester nearing.

I've had more fun at the banquets hosted by my own department, the college English department (for non-English majors). My dean is female, her name is Patricia, and she's a lot of fun to be around. There are also more people in my department since it includes EVERYONE else at the school involved in English, and it's more lively. Puppy is also always there too, whereas Jackie is not always invited to the other since he's part of the International Affairs Office, and not the foreign language department (what the other teachers are part of).

These are just a few pictures from the Solstice Banquet with my department. I'd just gotten a haircut (very little off- I just wanted to get rid of split ends) so my hair was straight because of that. They tried to brush and dry it into a very Chinese looking do, which I don't think suited me well. But I wasn't going to do anything with it cause I'm lazy. The older man you see was the retired president of the department... I think? I've forgotten now, but he was a lot of fun to talk to. And he was a tank-- he had more glasses of bai jiu than I could count and he was still going. That night ended in KTV.









I'll add more as I can-- uploading photos takes longer than writing the entries...

New Years

For New Year's we decided going to Zhengzhou would be fun, and possibly, there would be more happening for the Gregorian Ne Year's celebration, since Zhengzhou is the capital of Henan Province and thus, bigger and more urban than Kaifeng. I've only been to Zhengzhou once, and that was the fated hospital visit which was awful, and so really, anything would be better than that.

I had to finish up my oral examination finals on Friday, so I had to take a train, alone, to Zhengzhou and then get a taxi to the hotel we were staying at. Marlie and Josh, with Jackie's help, had booked a hotel for approximately $20 for the night. Woo!

I was not thrilled about going on the train alone (since I had been thinking about going to Zhengzhou for New Years and the others left without me six hours earlier), and actually, that was the first major traveling (and not actually that major since it was only 45 minutes) I've done alone so I was a bit apprehensive. The train was late by 20 minutes, but even so I arrived in Zhengzhou around 9:50pm. I pretended to look like I knew where I was going and that worked pretty well until I had to get a taxi. I followed the signs of 出租车 and it brought me... outside and onto a street. I tried flagging a cab but he sorta kept driving away and gestured in another direction. I finally figured out after walking the same general direction that there were gated lines to get a cab. I felt better (but also freezing) and got in line. Just as I did, a man came up to me and asked where I was going (in Chinese) I told him and he tried to GIVE me 50 yuan. I was already in line and that was not an offer to drive me somewhere so I ignored him and moved forward in line. I'm pretty sure I was propositioned for sex.. in a very nonthreatening manner. It was just strange. Especially since there were at least 40 people waiting in line right there as well.

I got to the hotel to meet the other two, and they showed me our "optional accouterments" that could be purchased between the beds. Condoms, underwear, and other sex-related objects in tiny wrapped packages. We were staying in a love hotel. Probably why it was so cheap! I found it more funny than anything, and nothing else was particularly amiss, so I didn't care beyond that.

We set off for a bar in a hotel that Eric and Mike were at. He gave Josh terrible terrible directions. I don't think I'll trust Eric with directions ever again, because they've led us horribly astray twice now. They sound fine to begin with, and then we lose our way at some point because of some sort of assumption or saying West is South. This is why I prefer maps myself. Either way, we go to the bar which was really just a converted room in the hotel at 11:45pm. I was afraid we wouldn't arrive before midnight, but it really didn't matter since the only sort of recognition of the New Year was a countdown (at least there was that!) from the television (set to a weird celebration on Chinese tv), cheers, and that was it. So... rather anti-climactic. I found out that I actually DO know Mike- I met him freshman year since he also lived in Aldrich. It was cool to talk to someone else I recognized and to other foreigners. There were two other Americans in the bar, an older man from DC who was very nice (but tried to hit on me), and another younger guy from Boston chatting up the female bartender. It was a good night, and we were able to buy real cocktails for the first time since we'd arrived, and I was extremely pleased about that. Mixers and mixed drinks seem to be a strange concept for the Chinese... at least in Kaifeng. It seems all anyone drinks is beer and baijiu.

So we had the New Year start in Zhengzhou. The next day we visited the Henan Provincial Museum which turned out to be AMAZING and far better than the museum we visited in Shanghai on the last day (the day I haven't written about- sorry. That was about all we did that day anyway. And visit a Starbucks). After that, we had some time to kill since one of Marlie's students Winifred would ride with us back to Kaifeng (via bus this time, and taking 1.5hrs instead), so we wandered until we found a mall. A mall that was very American. It was really nice, actually, since it didn't feel like we were in China at all. We had "pizza cones" for lunch. A dough cone with pizza toppings shoved inside with cheese and sauce on top. Mine would have been much more tasty, but it was INSANELY spicy and I had to buy a drink (that wasn't water since water does nothing for spice) to help. My mouth was on fire UNTIL we went to a DAIRY QUEEN. I got a Georgia Mud Fudge blizzard and Josh got a Moolatte. My mouth was happy and I was happy.

There was an H&M in the mall and I think I may return to Zhengzhou at some point to do some shopping since the prices were about the same, or a little bit cheaper (after conversion). And if I could use my American debit card, it'd be all the same anyway. But I'll see.

We visited another mall called Dennis which was far more Chinese in nature. Everything was very crowded together and a lot of the same thing over and over. Make-up, scarves, purses, the same sort of sweaters and such. There were at least 6 floors of it before we decided to return to the bottom floor. By then we were tired of wandering and waited, leaning on a wall for Winifred to arrive. Traffic was bad so she was late (in her mom's car). Eventually we hopped in the car on the side of the road and off to the bus stop.

Nothing exciting about the bus, except that we had to wait about 25 minutes in very cold weather (I should really buy a winter jacket since my trench is starting to not cut it, even with layers...) and we got to be first on the third bus that arrived (we were too far back in line for the first two). It was a double-decker so we sat on the second floor in the very front, which made for a fun view and it felt we were going to crash into everything (not that driving in China feels much different from that NORMALLY but...). I fell asleep briefly, and we got a taxi home.

It's the next day today, and I don't have much left to do except finalize grades for all classes but the Nursing school, give the Nursing students their listening exam (already made), grade it, and send off their grades as well. Then I AM DONE. The listening exam is on the 6th, so I have one last day to visit the new campus.

It was cold enough and the air felt right for snow, and a lot of people said it would... but it still didn't. Dammit.